In an essay for British Vogue, Paltrow said she knew her marriage was over three years before they called it quits in 2014. It was in 2011 and she and the Coldplay frontman, who married in 2003, were on a getaway in Italy.
“It was my birthday, my 38th,” the actress recalled. “My ex-husband and I were tucked away in the Tuscan countryside, on a hill in a beautiful cottage with a view of the forest.”
While the venue was perfect, her marriage wasn’t.
“I don’t recall when it happened, exactly. I don’t remember which day of the weekend it was or the time of day,” Paltrow, 47, wrote. But I knew – despite long walks and longer lie-ins, big glasses of Barolo and hands held – my marriage was over.”
The Goop founder said the split “felt almost involuntary, like the ring of a bell that has sounded and cannot be undone.” While she tried “to push it far down” and “convince myself it had been a fleeting thought,” she “knew it” was over “in my bones.”
However, it was “years until we said the words aloud.” She explained that she and Martin “had always been friends. We laughed at the same things, shared a funny bones humor, impressions, utter silliness. We were moved by the same qualities in music: beautiful chords, innovation, harmonies. Peter Gabriel, Chopin, Sigur Rós — though I listened for pleasure and he like he was studying for an exam.”
While they had many things they enjoyed doing together and “were close,” they “never fully settled into being a couple. “We just didn’t quite fit together. There was always a bit of unease and unrest. But man, did we love our children,” referring to Apple Martin, 16, and Moses Martin, 14.
Paltrow said that between the realization that her marriage was over and “the day we finally relented to the truth, we tried everything. We did not want to fail. We didn’t want to let anyone down. We desperately didn’t want to hurt our children. We didn’t want to lose our family… But one day, despite all our efforts, I found that I was not at a fork in the road. I was well down a path. Almost without realizing it, we had diverged. We’d never find ourselves together in that way again.”
She wrote that during the “dark days” when they first agreed to split, she thought of the divorces she knew were all “bitter, acrimonious, unending” and didn’t want that. That led her “to wonder, as impossible as it sounded, whether there was a way we could continue to feel the structure of our family on some level. Could we create a paradigm whereby we still ate meals together? Vacation, even? … But more than that, could my ex continue to be a family member, someone who would continue to protect me, want the best for me? Could I be that for him?”
Their therapist introduced them to the term “conscious uncoupling,” which she said initially “sounded a bit full of itself, painfully progressive and hard to swallow. However, they “decided to try” to still “be a family, even though we were not a couple.”
She said despite the early criticism — that she said she often gets via her lifestyle website with its ladybits candles and jade eggs — “conscious uncoupling/separation/divorce, whatever you want to call it, has now permeated the break-up culture.”
Called “America’s Number ONE Gossip Columnist” by The National Enquirer. Rob ‘Naughty But Nice’ Shuter breaks celebrity news every day on his website NaughtyGossip.com where he delivers all the dish about the stars we love in his naughty but nice signature style. You can also catch him co-hosting and breaking celebrity news on Good Day New York, The Today Show, The Talk, Wendy Williams Show, CNN, Extra and Z100’s ‘Elvis Duran.’ Previously, Rob was the Huffington Post’s only celebrity columnist and the former executive editor of OK! Magazine. Rob has also hosted his own Saturday night talk show on Mark Cuban’s channel and his own daily morning show, ‘The Gossip Table,’ on VH1! He just celebrated his one-year anniversary on Radio Rob – his subscription-based daily live podcast gossip show! Breaking some of the biggest entertainment stories, including Jamie Lynn Spears’s pregnancy news, Britney’s first post-meltdown interview, Eva Longoria’s wedding, and baby exclusives for Jessica Alba, Tori Spelling and Mathew McConaughey’s tots, Rob always knows where to find the best scoop. Before Rob was one of the world’s most successful entertainment reporters, he was a publicist working for Jennifer Lopez, Alicia Keys, P. Diddy, Jessica Simpson and Jon Bon Jovi! Now he is bringing all this experience to his new show on I HEART MEDIA in his unique cheeky way, that is always a pinch and never a punch!
Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t quite fit with Chris Martin!! Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t quite fit with Chris Martin!!