CamSoda, the adult entertainment company behind a newly-launched penis-review website, revealed you’ll have to ride the Staten Island Ferry to find the hottest sausages in the Big Apple.
Over the past two months, 1,617 New Yorkers dropped their trousers and asked models for their opinions on what they were packing downstairs. The Forgotten Borough made a lasting impression, with junk on the island receiving an average rating of 8.89.
Far behind were Brooklynites at 7.21, the Bronx (6.76), Queens (6.54).
Itsy-bitsy Manhattan took up the rear with only 5.01.
“Every time I walk into City Hall someone calls me a big D-word,” quipped City Council Minority Leader Joe Borelli, who hails from richly-endowed Richmond County. “Now it finally makes sense.”
“Maybe it’s all the Italian food,” mused YouTuber Joey Salads about his fellow islanders. “Pizza and pasta, it’s the key to some good D.”
When getting sized up, penises were graded on the basis of their length, girth, and overall shape. Good lighting and manscaping below the belt also helped.
“How you present your d–k is how you present yourself,” said Charley Hart, a Miami-based cam model. “I’ll even tell guys, ‘Well it’s a 7 but if you trimmed it would take it to an 8.’”
A majority of the models noted that Staten Island johnsons tended to resemble “cucumbers,” while Manhattan manhood was long but thin, like a pencil.
Some Staten Island women questioned the models’ judgment, including Nikki Dowd, 38, who thinks Brooklyn got robbed.ORDER A COPY OF ROB’S NEW BEST SELLING BOOK! Called “America’s Number ONE Gossip Columnist” by The National Enquirer. Rob ‘Naughty But Nice’ Shuter breaks celebrity news every day on his website NaughtyGossip.com where he delivers all the dish about the stars we love in his naughty but nice signature style. You can also catch him co-hosting and breaking celebrity news on Good Day New York, The Today Show, The Talk, Wendy Williams Show, CNN, Extra and Z100’s ‘Elvis Duran.’ Previously, Rob was the Huffington Post’s only celebrity columnist and the former executive editor of OK! Magazine. Rob has also hosted his own Saturday night talk show on Mark Cuban’s channel and his own daily morning show, ‘The Gossip Table,’ on VH1! Breaking some of the biggest entertainment stories, including Jamie Lynn Spears’s pregnancy news, Britney’s first post-meltdown interview, Eva Longoria’s wedding, and baby exclusives for Jessica Alba, Tori Spelling and Mathew McConaughey’s tots, Rob always knows where to find the best scoop. Before Rob was one of the world’s most successful entertainment reporters, he was a publicist working for Jennifer Lopez, Alicia Keys, P. Diddy, Jessica Simpson and Jon Bon Jovi! Now he is bringing all this experience to his new show on I HEART MEDIA in his unique cheeky way, that is always a pinch and never a punch!