This cultural obsession with dogs on the apps has spiraled into another problem: Daters are posting photos of pups they don’t own, to attract matches. “Dogfishing” is not exactly a lie – the person did take a photo with that dog – but to some daters, it feels like a veiled form of deception. And things can get awkward fast when a date realizes that the pet in the profile solely exists as bait.
“That’s the main thing: Stop borrowing dogs,” said Erika Ettin, an online dating coach in Washington. She advises her clients to curate profiles representative of their actual life. “It’s just odd when you’re using someone else’s dog online, and it seems like you’re trying too hard.”
She thinks people are faking dog ownership because it suggests that a person has nurturing qualities, especially men: A 2014 survey of Match.com users showed that on the site, more women sought out men who have dogs than the other way around. “Sometimes women subconsciously equate things like how a man treats his dog is how he would treat a partner,” Ettin said.
Whenever Gaby Wolff of Ann Arbor, Michigan, swipes and sees a dog photo, she cringes at the memory of one of her most awkward dates. Sam had a promising profile. They had good banter over drinks, and at the end of the night, she was comfortable enough to suggest a dog-walking date for next time.
“The energy of the conversation changed completely, and it took me by surprise,” the 30-year-old said. Sensing her date’s hesitation, Wolff changed the topic, but the rest of the night couldn’t be redeemed. Sam later apologized for his behavior in a post-date text, admitting that he didn’t know how to explain that he didn’t own the Labrador on his Hinge profile.
“He said something along the lines of: It would’ve been too awkward to bring up,” she said. Wolff took one final profile scroll through Sam’s profile before unmatching him, and noticed that it changed: The photo of him walking a large black lab was gone, replaced with a generic photo at a bar.
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